Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Beware the rise of the Uberkids!

Am I by myself here or has anyone else noticed this sudden proliferation of kid stars dominating popular culture lately. Everywhere we go these often prepubescent darlings are telling us oldsters the best way to buy and do almost everything. Forgive me but I'm not trying to channel Andy Rooney here but what right does a star of Hannah Montana or High School Musical have to tell me how I need to dress or color my hair. Gracious me..I wasn't even buying my own clothes at their age.

These kids have clothing lines, health food endorsements, perfume contracts, lunch boxes, furniture lines, games systems, you name it. When in the world did this get started? It used to be a cute kid had a series..and maybe a comic book accompaniment would follow tops but now no one is satisfied to just have these kids play a character they've got to take over all of wall street with the sweep of one popular Disney series.

And Lord help us unsuspecting consumers who get swept up in all this. I know if I see one more horrific clothing line from the Olsen Twins in my favorite store I'm cutting up my credit card (did I just see my husband praying)? Anyway, its really enough. Granted these kids are ok for the job at hand but let's face it I haven't seen any that have real Oscar potential. Sure they're cute and most can carry a tune but does that qualify them to sell me signature snake skin boots and over sized sunglasses. Let's all agree to leave that to the professionals ok.

I want my kids stars to know their place. Be adorable and cute and then outgrow your roles and disappear..seriously leave for awhile and become big people far from the public eye. Take your money and do something worthwhile like join Greenpeace or go to Princeton like Brooke Shields or something. I don't want to see your freckle faced image on everything from chicken strips to cheap cotton bedspreads at K-Mart. Do I make myself clear! I mean it. I guess these kids really can't be sent to their rooms when they're the ones buying the whole house. Quite honestly what Hollywood parent can control the moneymaker effectively. Its complicated to be sure.

I wish your parents would stop being your agents and accountants and allow you guys to go outside and ride your bikes once in awhile and then maybe every marketing meeting on NASDAQ wouldn't require you to keep working on the expansion of your brand. Seriously guys enough is enough. I like my sheets white, my towels blue and I prefer a floral background on my bedspreads. I don't want to see you all over my boudoir before I turn out the's just plain scary. Hey I like these kids really, I just wish they could take some time and enjoy not only their gifts and talents but they're being kids. I'm not trying to rain on any one's parade here. Do the show, be a star, have a blast and enjoy the attention. But when the director calls cut really do it. May I suggest something new?

At five o'clock I think you should all break for the evening go home and get some rest. Just like the rest of us. Read a a snow cone on the back porch, skip the photo shoot this month. You'll feel better I'm sure. At least I know I will.

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